Hoe Moguls, Doug Van Buskirk here…
Have you ever had a friend who only calls you when they need something?
You never hear from them until you’re having a party, or going out on your boat, or (the worst of all) they need you to help them move.
Those people kind of rub you the wrong way, right?
When you’ve got extra tickets to a game, chances are you don’t call that guy. He kind of feels like a mooch, even if he is still your friend. You don’t really want to go out of your way to help him, do you?
Now I want you to consider the parallel with real estate investors.
Because oftentimes, eager investors can come across like the mooch in the scenarios above. Not because they’re coming from a bad place, but because they’re unaware.
So today’s lesson is a guide on how to make connections the right way. The kind of connections that make people want to go out of their way to help you succeed.
Even I’m guilty…
My first year as an investor, I was a total mooch. Before you go waggin' your finger at me… don’t blame me, though, I didn’t know any better.
I looked at every connection I made as a possible lead source. And with a few exceptions, the relationships I built were surface-level. I was thinking too linearly, like, “I met this guy at the REIA, and now I’m going to wholesale him a deal next time I’ve got one.”
This is a pretty common mistake among investors, old and new...
The “what’s in it for me” mentality.
It took me a while to realize that, to quote the late, great Jim Rohn:
“The best way to get what you want is to help other people get what they want.”
Even more, I didn’t understand that the power of relationships is the access (given and received) to networks.
Connects the dots…
True power players connect new people they meet with influential people already in their network.
Your highest value to everyone you meet isn’t what you can personally do for them. Instead, it’s who you can connect them with.
Think of yourself as a bridge, not a laborer. You don’t personally need to roll up your sleeves and help every new person you meet…
But chances are you know someone, anyone, who would be a useful connection for them.
That’s worth reading again, because truly embracing that idea will exponentially increase your value as an investor, and your value in every other area of your life.
And when you make a connection, you build twice the relational capital – from the referee and the referred:
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Who do you know who could possibly help someone you recently connected with?
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Maybe it’s your real estate attorney, your contractor, or your hard money lender?
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Whoa! Wait a second, should you plug other investors in with your hard money lender? What if he isn’t able to loan to you on the next deal because his money’s tied up?
That’s a philosophical question, I suppose, about the abundance vs. scarcity mindset. I won’t pretend to “know” the answer.
But I can tell you that, in my experience, your mindset is contagious. The idea that resources are limited and should be hoarded does not bode well for long-term relationship building.
Consider that we get back what we put out into the world.
If I’m not willing to go out of my way to be a “connector,” how can I expect others to connect me with their valuable networks?
We’ll look at this hard money lender situation using the abundance mindset, just to illustrate…
Let’s say you’ve connected someone with your hard money lender, and now that HML doesn’t have the cash to lend you on your next deal.
Problem? Depends how you look at it. Consider some of these ideas:
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It’s likely that since your HML is probably established in the industry, he very well may know other hard money lenders that he could refer you to, right?
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Since you went out of your way to refer this HML business, it would be pretty reasonable to ask him to tap into his network to help you out, if he wasn’t able to, right?
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If all else failed, and you had a great deal that needed funding, you’d scramble to find another money source, right?
So in this worst case scenario, you’d have connected two people, proven yourself as a valuable resource and made another lender connection to fund future deals. Not a bad day at the office.
You can apply this idea to anything where you feel the scarcity mindset creeping in.
My guess is you’ll feel a weight lifted off your shoulders the moment you realize that there’s plenty of everything to go around! Check out the actionable steps below to help get you moving in the right direction… do so and you’ll have a robust network of strong connections who will go just as far out of their way to help you as you have for them.
Talk to Me
What are your thoughts about making connections? I’d love to hear from you in the comments section below.
Make 3 lists of the people you know and what they do:
- Your inner circle
- People you interact with regularly
- People you know but only see intermittently
Focus on identifying the needs of people you meet.
Connect them with folks in your circles, or people who might know someone else who can help them.
Follow up with both parties to make sure the connection went smoothly.
Doug Van Buskirk
has always been fascinated with patterns in how people behave. He's used that passion to put a spotlight on the intersection of real estate and psychology, applying that science to networking, negotiation, and marketing. Doug's been investing for a little over 2 years, specializing in single-family wholesaling and mobile homes. In that time, he's also built an online marketing company and real estate coaching program. Doug first achieved his financial freedom at age 25, going from never having done a deal to replacing his 9-5 income with cash flow from income properties in just under 6 months. He lives in Charleston, SC with his fiancé Jen and Lhasa Apso dog, Amber.