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Inner Game

The Cost of Suffering

 “Given enough time, any man may master the physical. With enough knowledge, any man may become wise. It is the true warrior who can master both… and surpass the result.”
       ~Tien T’ai

I hired a UFC cage fighter to train me once. His name is Matt Arroyo. He was runner-up on The Ultimate Fighter reality show. He taught me Muay Thai and jiu jitsu.

Why did I, Preston Ely, do this? Wasn’t I just going to get hurt?

Yes. I was just going to get hurt. But if Matt doesn’t do it, then life WILL. And life hurts way worse than Matt.  I promise you that.

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved.”  ~Helen Keller

Helen Keller was not only an author, lecturer and activist… she was a trained cage fighter. I bet you didn’t know that.

There are 3 types of suffering in this world

#1.  Self-Induced Suffering 

Dieting, exercising, working, spiritual disciplines, giving sacrificially, sparing the lives of psycho consumers who blog about me, etc.

#2.  Natural Suffering

Sickness, emotional illness, injury, poverty, etc.

#3.  God-Appointed Suffering

Yea, I won’t get into that one.

Know this…

The more you do of #1, the less you get of #2.  Usually.

That being said…

It’s fairly frightening when a trained killer – I mean UFC fighter – throws you some sparring gloves that are about as big and padded as those cotton snow mittens from when you were 2 years old, and says, “put your gloves on,” without smiling.

It’s usually right at this point that I begin to question the soundness of my wisdom in penciling this “training” (a.k.a. “blood bath”) into my weekly schedule.

stress“It seemed like a good idea at the time,” is a pretty common thought that I think.

But guess what. Once we get started…

…once a couple blows are exchanged (all from him to me)…

I realize….

This IS indeed… way worse than I thought it would be. I mean… it is absolutely give-your-mom-a-heart-attack-if-she-saw-it BRUTAL!

About half way through, I normally promise myself that I will physically staple my eyelids open (to help me see prudence more clearly maybe?) rather than ever come back to this torture chamber.

It’s that bad. 

Have you seen Never Back Down?  This is worse. It makes the training sessions in Rocky look like pre-school girls warming up for a session of Patty Cake. 

We did things with 6-foot tractor tires and stuff. 

There are no chickens involved, though. Rocky has us on that one. Now that I think about it… chickens would be the last straw for me. 

Just like that, I’ve made it through

But then, guess what…

It’s over.

Ask me when I feel the very best about myself and life in general.

It’s after church on Sundays (I dare ya to try it) and on the way home from hell – I mean the gym – where we trained.

addThere is no comparison between the cost of the suffering and the benefit of the gained confidence, power and strength (both mental and physical).

And that power trickles over to every other area of my life:

  • I negotiate with greater effectiveness.
  • I take bigger risks in business.
  • feel better, therefore, I attract better things into my life.
  • I’m more willing to try new things regardless of the outcome.
  • I’m not scared of ANYone in ANY situation.
  • My relationships are healthier because I’m not going around manipulating people out of FEAR.

And the list could go on... 

“What we fear doing is probably what we most need to do.”

                     ~Tim Ferriss, author of The 4-Hour Workweek and MY IDOL!

The moral of my story

The moral of this story is…

I think you should learn how to fight. I really do. Man or woman – makes no difference. 

And the more that that thought scares you… the more I KNOW you need to do it. 

It’s good exercise, will build your confidence and, if nothing else, it’s pretty cool knowing you can beat most people up. Seriously. It is.

Just try it!

Make sure your trainer is well-versed in MMA. No toe tapping stuff like Karate. This is real life, not some cartoon. Women, do kickboxing. But not CARDIO kickboxing. Real kickboxing.

Let me know how it goes.

Talk to Me

Have you paid the cost of suffering? How did you get out of it? Tell me below.

 

Do It To It! Immediate Action Steps

Do something that scares you, it’ll only make you grow.

Remember how you feel after you’ve done something difficult and use that for future motivation.

Try new things.

Take bigger risks.

Be positive to attract other positivity.

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