Don't Let Your Connections Die

friends You’ve probably read those fancy “reports” about the “death of...” [insert basically anything here].

The “Death of the Internet”... the “Death of Real Estate.” Seems everything is “dying” these days.

Trevor Mauch here and if I had to write a “The Death of...” report... it would be The Death Of Connections.

Connections as we know it are more scarce than ever...

Before you write off this lesson as something you don’t need to read, something that doesn’t affect you, something that you “already know”... don’t.

Stay with me and you’ll see why...

You’ll see why connections are so closely tied with happiness and impact, and how I’ve actively built more connections and community for myself and my companies and reaped the benefits (financial and happiness) as a result.

Ok, lets dive in.

So, do you remember ever watching TV shows from the 40s, 50s and 60s? I love those shows. One thing I really love about them is how whenever Beaver from Leave it to Beaver or Opie from The Andy Griffith Show would walk around town – everyone was out to greet them.

You’d hear “Hi Opie!” all the time. And the Beaver’s parents were always hosting the neighborhood kids for dinner, and the families always got together for fun in-person activities.

Those were in fact the good ole days.

Those were the days when people were forced to create connections and community because they had to walk places, it wasn’t easy to get a hold of someone on the phone, and the internet was a distant glimmer in their future.

People had to talk to each other if they wanted anything out of life. Imagine that.

Fast Forward to Today... Are You Connection-Less?

I went through a 2- to 3-year period right after I started my entrepreneurial journey where I was so wrapped up in the business, had my head buried so deep into the internet (learning, applying, “networking”), and had myself so detached from any real connections that I almost forgot what it felt like.

friends In fact, I almost forgot how great it feels to be a part of a community... a real community of people you can talk to, have a beer or coffee with, bounce ideas off of, have fun with, the whole enchilada...

I’m sure many of you reading this are in that same place right now. You feel that you’re “meeting” people every day, learning so much, making “connections”... but most, if not all of them, are solely through the internet... or surface-level connections that don’t go past business.

From personal experience, I can tell you... it sucks... it’s not fun... it’s not fulfilling... and it’s a trap.

But I have good news...

You can build your way out of it. And it’s not even that tough.

Why Connections Are Disappearing

I remember the first time my wife and I had dinner with one of our neighbors. We’d lived by them for 4 years! They’re the same age as us, from every interaction we’ve ever had with them, they were very likable/fun and similar to us in many ways, and they just had a kid... just like us.

So why did it take so long for us to have dinner with them?

Especially because the very next day, they moved out of our neighborhood.

See, when, in passing, we were chatting with them in our driveway and they told us about their impending move... I saw both a missed opportunity (not getting to know them better sooner) and an opportunity still there (that it’s not too late to make a connection).

So I invited them over for dinner even though the only day they could do it was the most inconvenient day of the entire week for us.

Connections are disappearing for 2 reasons:

We’re too busy telling ourselves the connections we’re making online are enough.
No one wants to make the first move because we all think if the other person really wanted to connect with us, they’d make the move (that’s what happened to us and our neighbors... they said the same thing).

enough So, dinner was GREAT... and we will be really good friends even though they’re moving across town. Just a shame we didn’t do it 4 years earlier.

Missed Connections

So, count right now the number of people that you’ve actually connected with on a real level... had dinner with them, threw a block party, met for coffee, etc.

Probably not too many.

Don’t make my mistake and wait for the other people to make the first move. 99% of the time, people want to make new connections – real connections, not online ones – but are afraid or waiting for you to do it.